Do you ever feel like something is missing? Someone is missing? Hope is missing? I have been there lately and I hope someday that the hurt goes away. 3 weeks ago someone very special was taken from me. My dear friend Yvonne's body was found a little over a mile from her home.
The day started out a little different than normal, but I had no idea how my world was about to be tossed about. I had called in to work because we had been up late while spending the last hours of Gramps life with him. I wouldn't have changed that moment for anything in the world. Gramps went to be with the Lord on Sunday, January 9, 2011 surrounded by his family; we all blessed to be with him as he left his earthly home and went to his eternal home.
I took the kids to school and then headed to WalMart to do some much needed grocery shopping. About half way through the store I received a phone call from a dear friend and co-worker. I will never forget her words. "I don't want you to hear anything on the news, Yvonne is missing." I can still hear those words as if they were just spoken to me. The next moments went by so quickly, I ran to pay for what was in my cart and jumped in the car. I was on auto pilot as I drove to Yvonne's house. I kept looking on the side of the road because I knew I was going to find her sitting in a ditch on the side of the road with an injury that wouldn't allow her to get home. I was also thinking about how I was going to lecture her on being out on her bike or walking in January. She would have expected me to lecture her about that because I know if the roles were reversed, she would be lecturing me!
I finally made it to Yvonne's house and I was completely shocked to not find her there. I knew she had to be there because this couldn't be happening! She couldn't be gone. After waiting, wondering, speaking with the police, more waiting, crying, worrying...we left the house to go to the police station. I had heard on the news that a woman's body was found about a mile from Yvonne's house and my heart instantly exploded. I knew with everything in me that my friend had gone to be with the Lord. Many hours later I was told that it was Yvonne who was found that morning.
I still can't believe she is gone. I keep thinking about everything that happened 3 weeks ago while I was praying for her to be alright. She can't be gone, she is my 2nd mom and I need her to be here. I wonder how long I will feel the way I feel. I come to work and convince myself that she is just on vacation; she will be back. I don't know how I will ever learn to not have her with me every day. I have learned that every day is precious and I need to be sure to tell everyone how much they mean to me.
Dear Yvonne,
I miss you so much. I keep thinking you will be back. I keep hoping I will see your beautiful face again. Your smile is something that keeps me smiling. I look at the picture that was taken of us a little over a week before you were taken from this earth. The person sitting next to me is the person that I was lucky enough to have in my life and lucky enough to have a my 2nd mom. I don't know if I ever told you how much you mean to me. I hope you can feel how special you are to me. Your opinion has always mattered to me and you are someone who I could always talk to. I keep asking myself if I ever told you that I loved you. I makes me very sad because I can't remember. You were always supposed to be there, so I didn't have to tell you. I know that sounds silly, but you were suppose to know. I am trying to do things that will make you proud. I hope you are looking down right now and you are proud of how I have been handling myself and this situation. I hope you can see and feel how much I love you and how special you are to me.
Love,
Misty